When I was about 14 or 15 my parents took me to Boston … just to see it. We were traveling somewhere by bus and I saw this one guy. He couldn’t have been that old, maybe first or second year of college but something about him spoke to me. He is out here on his own making it … of course he could have been a hoodlum living in his parents basement but I didn’t see it that way. I thought he must be having the time of his life, making friends, progressing in his career and I had painted an image that if you are out there away from family making it on your own you must be somebody, not only somebody but somebody awesome / important. I’ve always wanted to be that. Living on my own and doing what I love, having fun friends and enjoying life. Don’t get me wrong my life has highlights but I just feel a little too settled. Life seemed sort of per-planned to me and I am the one who made those choices end of the day, I don’t regret them but I have questions for myself. Why couldn’t have I moved to Canada when I was 19-20 and start my photography career there? I guess a world is always part of what-if’s but I had so many opportunities and I sort of feel like I’ve passed on that chance that could have made my life amazing instead of just alright.
I can’t consider it the end cause I’m only 33 years old, I still have plenty of chances for life to go in a different direction – it just seems to me I want things in life that contradict each other. I want adventure and spontaneity while another part of me wants a quite family life … really? In a way I think it’s time to leave my old dreams behind and start making new dreams happen. I still want to travel, I want my work to be on a cover of a magazine and I want to have kids … they will just not be in Canada. Just something to think about.