Confidence is defined as a state of being certain in something that is correct or that a decision of you actions are the best or most effective. I feel that if one is self confidant it means also being arrogant, but that is not so. You or I can be self-confidant and not arrogant. I can willingly admit that I do not know everything and I’m not always correct. My view of confidence is not concrete and sometimes feels that if I feel best about myself it’s not positive because I’m becoming arrogant and that is not the case. I feel that tolerance plays a big role in my confidence level and it’s become an issue over the course of my life.
Tolerance is the willingness to accept something, opinions or behaviors that I don’t necessarily agree with. I’ve let my tolerance of the opinion of others dictate my confidence level. It’s very tough figuring out where you fit in the world when the opinion of others is more powerful than your own. Very often I don’t give myself power to decide for myself. I’ve let people dictate my life for a long time and now that I have put myself in a place where I do that on my own its new, scary, exciting and gives me doubt and anxiety. Giving myself that validation and ignoring other people’s opinion is a challenge for me.
Overtime I’ve realized my confidence vs. tolerance is no longer balanced. At first I’ve tolerated everyone and everything, therefore my confidence was at it’s all time low. After some time I’ve adapted to having an opinion and a stronger self (aka. like omg why are you such a bitch) realizing my tolerance is not only lowering for people (rightfully so) but creating a boundary. I’m in a relatively comfortable place to say I am confident even when I do still tolerate several things in my life. There needs to be a balance, I know that I can depend on myself. It’s comforting knowing that I can make my own decisions without having to tolerate others.