Making tough decisions can be daunting. We can all agree (hopefully) that whatever lifestyle we lead now costs and affords us something. My body is morbidly obese and that’s why I was hiding from the world. I was also hiding from leading a fulfilling life that I crave. In November of 2016 my personal trainer gave me homework, he asked “what would make your life more complete and move you forward?” it took me a little while to figure out the answer. Several if not all my doctors have recommended I have a weight loss surgery and that was my answer to that question. Honestly I was really apprehensive about even researching it but after speaking with a few surgeons I started to follow the six month plan to surgery. In the back of my mind there was no going back even thought several people said “you can always change your mind”. As soon as I knew it I was in the OR getting an iv put in my arm. I was ready to build a life I’ve always craved but I wasn’t ready to leave the life I’ve had. The fat safety prison I’ve created, low expectations and fear of success. Being fat does / did afford me something, its a safety from things I’ve feared. Facing the issues straight on makes me want to hide and eat but I was willing to leave it behind. I still have fears and doubts but it comes with a huge sigh of relief. I don’t need to hide, I can be open and honest with myself and the world. So far it has been the hardest decision of my life but 5 weeks after surgery I can say that I’m grateful for it.