I’m incredibly overwhelmed and tired, life seems to be going a million miles a minute and I can’t seem to catch up and get a grip. Ever since I have taken control over my food cravings it feels like everything else is in disarray. I have really started viewing what and eat and how I eat it for what it should be, the emotional aspect of it has been checked at the door and I sit here wondering why for a decade it was so difficult to do so when I did it almost effortlessly. I started making my decisions regarding food in a rational and logical way, not to say before it wasn’t … I was overwhelmed with emotional aspect of eating … or should I say over eating. In reality I do feel that I’m still over eating however it’s healthier food, lets binge eat Kale everyone. I’m not sure why this obsession with Kale came about but I never really enjoyed lettuce and arugula is very flavorful. Sometimes you just want something new, exotic and interesting in your salad … right?
Another thing I have been doing recently is letting myself feel something I usually don’t let myself … anger. I sit with this rage in my chest thinking of things I could have said or done in situations that infuriate me and I let that moment pass me by like it doesn’t matter. Why can’t I let it matter, why can’t I be irritated with someone who doesn’t care about my time or respect others around them? I absolutely will and if it happens to be that I will be the bad guy in the situation than I will be. I will be rude, I will be annoying and I will absolutely not allow for people and friends to walk all over me. Not to be confused with times where I happen to volunteer my time to do something for friends or family members. It’s hard to say YES when you don’t want to and it’s hard to say NO when you want to but I notice recently I have a much shorter fuse to how far people choose to take advantage of the situation and how they approach it. The guilt aspect of it all I would still love to work on but I’m getting better.